JOVIE CLAIRE!!!

if you can't tell from the obvious explosion of pink on this cake or by the name, then let me spell it out for you: WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

we are absolutely so excited. to be honest, i was surprised. i was expecting to hear that it was little boy #2. but me & the hubs were wrong. we are so thrilled. i can't wait to go crazy & buy her humongous bows, frilly dresses & all things girly!! i think having both a boy & a girl will be perfect. i'm so happy that we'll be able to experience both genders. Jack & Jovie will be 15 months apart, so we'll definitely have our hands full, but it will be a blast.

little girl was such a ham during the ultrasound. she moved (a lot) when the tech didn't need her to & would not budge when the tech needed some movement from her!! but she is 100% healthy & growing right on target. we have to get another ultrasound in November to make sure her arms & legs are the correct measurements. she just wouldn't unclench enough for the tech to get accurate measurements. but from what she saw, she wasn't concerned at all. so PRAISE THE LORD!!! a healthy baby is all i was asking the Lord to give us.

ben is just thrilled. he couldn't wait to tell everyone today. we've had such a blessed day.

we LOVE you so much little girl & we can't wait to meet you!! she's due February 8! so bring on the countdown. i am now on the hunt for nursery items, (i'm thinking turquoise & red will be the color scheme) and a sweet little monogrammed gown for her to wear in the hospital!!!!

here's to Sugar & Spice and everything nice!!!

Jovie or Jude?!!

tomorrow is the BIG day. we have our 20 week ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby. we'll know if we're having a jovie or a jude!! we are beyond excited. the moment you find out you're pregnant, you start looking forward to this ultrasound. it means so many things:

1. you find out if your baby is completely healthy

2. you finally know if you're planning for a girl or a boy

3. you can call your baby by name

4. it marks the 1/2 way point of your pregnancy

of course, you can still do all of these things without finding out the sex of the baby. i really admire those couples who can do just that! i know it must be a super fun surprise on delivery day. but there is no way we could do it. the hubs & i are pretty impatient!

of course, we are a little apprehensive about the ultrasound. we just want to hear that tech say that this baby is healthy & growing strong. that is without a doubt, the most important thing. we have really been bathing this day in prayer & trusting the Lord.

we have a fun day planned for tomorrow. after the ultrasound we are planning on meeting with ben's family then friday night we are all gathering at my parents house where we will reveal the sex of the baby. so, i'll post later tomorrow night & let everyone know. go ahead & take a guess on my poll at the top of my blog. we'll see how many of you get it right! ben's guess is boy. i've really been back & forth on this one. but i'm gonna guess boy too. i would be really shocked if i heard "its a girl!" but we would be so excited! only 24 hours to go!! i can barely stand it!

have a happy thursday!!

18 weeks!!

i am now 18 weeks preggo with sweet baby J. only 11 more days until we find out if baby J is a Judah (jude) or a Jovie. we are getting more excited by the minute!! in some ways, 18 weeks feels like i've come a long way since June 12, the day i found out i was 4 weeks pregnant. but it also feels like i'm barely pregnant. i mean, i have a potential 22 more weeks to go!! uggghhh. but knowing me and my history, its more like 17 or 18 more weeks to go. we'll see what happens.

i'm starting to feel the first signs of wiggles and kicks. every now and then i'll feel a flutter or a little jab. nothing too strong yet. i must say, i LOVE it. i get so excited with every little movement & i can't wait till J grows a little more so i can really feel the punch this kid is packing! (please remind me of said statement when i'm complaining of bruising & aches when J is keeping me up at night with a roundhouse kick to my ribs!!)

we're getting more & more excited about you sweet little baby. we can't wait to meet you & for you and Jack to meet. what a blessing you already are to us! we're praying daily for your health and safe delivery. we love you SO much!!!!

this week little J is:

*Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces.

*He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead.

*His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit.

*A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born.

*If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

E is for Emotional

so this is the part of my blog where i ramble on & on about my pregnancy. so, if you don't want to listen to me gab about pregnancy hormones or emotions, then by all means, skip this post entirely. i am basically writing this for myself, b/c i am feeling it so strongly (& i actually do want to remember it, b/c its funny!).

lately, i have been a hot mess. i'm not kidding. ask my hubby, he can testify. i have been so moody, emotional, hormonal & exhausted. i know this is all pregnancy related b/c by nature i'm not a super emotional, whiny, testy, moody, cranky basket case! but something about growing a baby (24/7) plus taking care of a 10 month old (24/7) will just open the flood gates. i mean it. ridiculous. i have become that lady. the other day, i teared up b/c walmart was out of my favorite scented candle. and a few weeks ago, i was livid b/c i missed Sonic's happy hour by 10 minutes. i mean, i could've cussed someone out! and it was all my fault. then i came home from work & discovered ben had done loads of laundry & i did a little happy dance. i was elated. insane. i know. i don't remember it being this bad when i was pregnant with jack. but my sweet husband kindly reminded me that emotions & mood were an issue for me with jack too.

lately, the Lord has really been dealing with me in the area of trust. its been rough. i've heard and read about soooo many families going thru tragedy concerning their children. trisomy 13, trisomy 18, heart disease, SIDS, cancer & other vicious disease are ripping into families and their young children. i've heard of parents loosing their infants, toddlers and young children. it is breaking my heart. i know that b/c of sin, disease & death are a reality. but something about it affecting an innocent child is almost more than i can physically bare. and its not exactly the kind of thing i want to be thinking about while i'm carrying this sweet baby. we are 16 days away from our BIG ultrasound, where we find out the gender & if our baby is healthy. this brings MUCH anxiety for me. i want so desperately for this baby to be healthy. i have cried out to God on several occasions, begging him for Jack & baby J's health. it's so very important to ben & I. less than 2 weeks ago, after i put Jack to bed, i found myself alone in my living room talking with the Lord. tears came flooding to my eyes as i thought about all of those hurting families & i realized that my little family is not above any of those terrible things. at any moment, tragedy could strike. so it got me wondering, how would we handle it? i couldn't answer that question. i know it would cripple me. so i got down on my knees, before the Lord & sobbed & sobbed & sobbed. i begged him to protect ben, myself, Jack & baby J. I confessed a lot of things to the Lord about my untrusting and unwilling heart. i wasn't willing of going through anything that horrible. and i told the Lord how very scared i am of said troubles. but He gently reminded me that He has the grace to see me through anything. i had a sweet time with Him.

Ben & I have already committed our kids to the Lord & we know that He IS ABLE. we trust Him with them no matter what. i have learned that God is good, all the time. in good and in bad. but He also taught me that i don't have to live in fear or paranoia that something will happen to my babies. He never intended that for us. He gently reminded me of a verse that i learned in bible drill.

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalm 56:3

that's it. i just need to trust. so i got up from that conversation with the Lord with a new peace and a new heart. I will not live that way. i just won't. i had a talk with the hubs when he got home and he was so sweet. he made me feel so much better & encouraged me to allow this fear to strengthen my prayer life. i know he prays for our kids constantly. and that is so special to me. i still get emotional and teary eyed when i think about how much i love my kids & how i want them to be healthy, but i can follow it up with prayer & His word . how do people live everyday without Jesus?! i just don't know. i'm telling you, i couldn't do it. He literally sustains me, all the way.

but i am still emotional. one minute i'm feeling great & ready to conquer my to-do list, run errands and get out to do something fun with Jack. the next minute i'm feeling lonely, sad, irritated & i just want to nap or hide in the house. so ridiculous. but pregnancy does crazy things to a girl. c-r-a-z-y things. owell, at least i have an excuse for this insane behavior & feelings!!! its exhausting, but i'm trying to embrace it! and i really just need to get over myself but this is the only time i'm allowed to act silly. if you've been pregnant, you know exactly what i'm saying. if you haven't experienced this little gem yet, just keep living. once you get pregnant, i won't seem so crazy. i promise. (and i might be the one giggling at you!!)

i really believe that you don't know worry until you have a baby. its unlike anything else. but it's normal. not healthy, but normal. i'm learning. everyday. raising a child brings a lifetime of little worries but i have the Lord to lean on & an incredible supportive husband. and that makes me feel like i can face each day. it has been a hard lesson for me to learn. i know i'll worry about my kids even when i'm not pregnant, but pregnancy just amplifies ALL things. trust me. other than that constant worried feeling, i'm going to allow myself to embrace the crazy hormones of pregnancy. why not?! hopefully my hubby won't leave me! i think he's learned to just humor me. so if you see a crying, angry, laughing preggo lady at walmart that's all worked up over a greeting card, come say hello to me. and be glad you don't have those extra hormones surging through your body!!!

happy fall!!! almost!

15 weeks!!!!!

yippee!!! i am finally in the 2nd trimester with this baby & i am feeling soooo much better. the first 12 weeks is super rough & to be honest, i didn't think i would make it. i mean, all day nausea, everyday of the week plus motion sickness equals NO fun. i really don't think men could handle this!!! but i am finally at a point where the nausea has subsided & i'm feeling really good! the cravings have already started. lately, i've been wanting some chips & salsa and broccoli cheese soup like nobody's business. but i've also been very emotional lately. by nature, i'm not an extremely emotional girl, only when it comes to jack. but when i'm pregnant, its like someone opened up the flood gates! commercials, news stories, blogs, children, holidays, jack's milestones and even this little one i'm carrying have all made me shed a few (understatement!!) tears. i know my hubby thinks i'm crazy. i told him i wish so badly that he could just experience the real ups & downs of pregnancy for just one week. he wouldn't think i was so cooky after that!!!

in all honesty, he's been really supportive. he's picked up some of my slack with the housework & gone the extra mile to help me with jack. he's even given me a few, much needed, foot rubs!! i guess there are a few perks of pregnancy!!! j/k i really do love this experience. i should start feeling this baby in the next 2 weeks & i'm super excited about that. its so much fun. and in 4 weeks, we have the BIG ultrasound (gulp) to find out the sex of the baby & make sure that everything looks good. for those of you who have never experienced this, its both exhilarating & terrifying. its so fun to see your sweet little one & finally know the gender but its also the point when you can find out if your baby has any major health problems. i'm already covering this day in prayer. but i have a peace from the Lord, either way.

we've also picked out our little bean's name!! if its a boy, we're going with Henry Jude. he will go by Jude. if its a girl, Jovie Claire. we both really love these names & we can't wait to be able to call this baby either one. here's what baby J is up to these days:

*Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple).

*He/She is busy moving amniotic fluid through their nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in his/her lungs begin to develop.

*His/Her legs are growing longer than their arms now, and baby can move all of it joints and limbs. Although baby's eyelids are still fused shut, he/she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, baby is likely to move away from the beam.

*There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but baby is forming taste buds.

10 weeks

Baby Bean is 10 weeks old today!!! hooray! only 2 more weeks till i'm out of this dreaded 1st trimester. i'm very ready. the 2nd trimester is the best & most enjoyable. i'm ready to feel all the kicking & moving, & we're really looking forward to finding out the sex of the baby in mid September!!! i get so excited thinking about this baby. i can't wait to hold him/her & see how much he/she does or doesn't look like Jack!!! Jack is getting to be so big, so i'm excited about having a tiny baby around the house again! yay! here is what baby bean is up to this week:

i'm basically just copy/paste this info from babycenter.com its way easier than typing it all out!!!

Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.

He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.

In other developments:
*Your baby's limbs can bend now.
*His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body.
*The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord.
*Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body.
*From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.

sweet little bean: praise the Lord for all the growth you've done up till now! we're praying that you continue to grow & develop into a healthy & thriving little baby! we can't wait to meet you! we love you so much!!! love: mommy, daddy & jack!

i'm busy with back pain

that title sums up my life right now. busy. and lots of back pain. busy b/c its the summer. and back pain b/c i'm pregnant. (its still weird to type that!!)

since the beginning of may we have been insanely busy. my little sister, lindsay, got married may 23. so, of course the whole month of may was crazy with her wedding festivities. then we had one week of break & more wedding festivities started up. katie, the baby sister, got married june 20! whoa! so it was a complete whirlwind. i think we were all really glad when both weddings had come and gone! we had about 2 weeks and then we left for FL. but during those 2 weeks the hubs was super busy with church work. we just got back from FL this past thursday night. it was an incredible trip & we were sad to come back to reality. 8 days of vacay just didn't seem like enough. now, we are home for 2 weeks. and then we leave again on the 27th for youth camp. we are taking our kids to gatlinburg for a week of fun. we're staying in one of those huge cabins in the mountains and doing fun things like dollywood & ober gatlingburg. we can't wait.

but in between now & gatlinburg we have no time to breathe. my hubby is helping give a vbs for an apartment complex in Olive Branch this week. plus, we have our monthly young adult/couples bible study, jack goes to the doctor for his 9 month check up, i'm helping my friend britt send a care package to india for some friends who are missionaries so we must go shopping. our church has a fish fry fundraiser saturday night for our mission team to honduras and sunday we are cooking out at my parents house to celebrate my dad's new job & katie's 20th birthday. whew!!! on top of all of that, i'm working today & tomorrow. which is fun but exhausting. and thats just this week.

next week. work mon & tues. i go to the doctor for my 10 week checkup on thursday. our church has vbs every night of the week. plus ben & i must shop and prepare things for youth camp. lots of stuff to do there. i also must clean my house before leaving town so that my housesitter isn't disgusted when she walks in the door. and somewhere in there i need to have some dental work done. yippee!

on top of this madness is my teething baby & my aching pregnancy back. its crazy how different my 2 pregnancies have been so far. with jack i was nauseated ALL the time. i could only eat cheerios & frozen fruit for 6 weeks. i'm not lying. plus, i vomited a lot & was super duper tired. with this baby, i'm nauseated but not nearly as much. i definitely deal with it every day but i haven't thrown up. PRAISE THE LORD!! but i get very motion sick in the car. it only takes about 15 minutes in the car & i'm ready to spill the beans. thank goodness i haven't yet. i always pack crackers & water for the car! (so i'm super nervous about how i will do on a 7 hour drive to gatlinburg!!) but i have tons of back pain with this baby. which i didn't really experience with jack until i hit about 24 weeks. my doctor told me that some of it is due to my retro tilted uterus. having jack has caused it to tilt back, which equals more back pain for me. awesome. i mean, i'm not gonna lie. i'm a baby. i will fully admit it. i always have been. but i'm not being dramatic when i say, my back kills!!! my hubby can attest to it. there have been a few days i have been in tears. and of course, i'm super tired. who wouldn't be at 9 weeks pregnant & trying to keep up with an almost 9 month kid. who by the way, is trying SO hard to crawl & pull up on everything. crazy!

but i'm thankful for the back pain. i know some women would kill to experience it. this baby is a blessing. but still, my back. geez o pete. tylenol has become my daily bff. i just wanted to document some of the differences between jack & this little one!

so being busy + a teething baby + back pain = one crazy preggo mama! happy monday!

B is for Baby

friday, june 12, 2009. this is a day that will forever stick out in my mind. this is the day i found out that i am pregnant. what?! did you read that right?! did i hear my doctor right?! yes to all of the above. i want to put in writing the events of the day so that i will forever remember my thoughts, feelings & emotions concerning sweet pea #2!

(BEWARE OF LONG POST!!!)

let me back up. thursday night as ben & i were getting into bed i said these exact words to him: "how funny would it be if when i went to the doctor tomorrow they told me i was pregnant?!" but we immediately dismissed my little joke b/c i was on birth control & surprisingly i was good at taking it like i should. my hubby said "babe, you aren't pregnant, but even if you were, it would be ok" in my head i was thinking "uhh, no. i just had a baby."

fast forward to friday morning. the st. jude tournament was going on at southwind that weekend. which happens to be where ben's parents live. every year, we go all weekend & set up shop at his parents so we can enjoy the festivities. so the plan was for all 3 of us to go to his parents' house first & then i would leave to be at my obgyn appointment by 11 a.m. i arrived at my doctor's office 10 minutes early. my doctor is usually very prompt but today she was running behind. so i sat in the waiting room for about 25 minutes. all the while, i'm thinking "ughh, i really don't want to get a pap smear, i can't wait for this to be over so i can get back to the fun with my family." then the nurse calls me back. i do the traditional pee in a cup, weight check, blood pressure. then she sits me down & asks me when my last cycle was. i'm dumbfounded. i have no idea. normally, i keep up with that pretty well. but my birth control caused my cycles to be crazy, usually 2 a month so i just gave up on trying to keep tabs on it. i looked at her desk calendar & starting counting back the weeks. i knew it had been at least 3 weeks but as i kept counting i could recall the events of the past month & i knew that my little monthly friend had not visited me b/c it usually will make a difference in my moods. i say to her "umm, i think its been like 6 weeks. but that doesn't mean anything." i then explain to her my birth control drama. as i'm doing this her eyes are wide & she is smiling. but i just knew in my head that i wasn't pregnant. i can't be. no way, no how. impossible. not happening. remember, i just had a baby. she then shows me to the tiny freezing room with the oh so lovely & comfy stirrup chair. i sit & sit & sit & sit. my hubby calls me once. but i ignore the call b/c i have terrible reception in there. so i text him & say i'm in the room waiting to see dr williams. my nurse comes in twice, each time writing on my chart, chatting politely & reassuring me that my doctor will be in shortly. i'm thinking: "don't they know i'm sitting in a cold room in a paper gown waiting to be prodded & invaded?!"

15 minutes later, dr williams walks in the room. now let me take a moment to brag on her. she really is incredible. so sweet & always so calm. she was so wise & comforting when i went through the bout of pre-eclampsia with jack. i honestly didn't freak out b/c she made me feel so safe & reassured. back to the moment. she has my chart in her hand, and on top of it i see 2 short fat sticks. she says "well, you're pregnant." i say "what?! no way!!" she replies "umm, yeah you are, we did 2 tests just to be sure" i then repeat at least 5 times "you've gotta be kidding me, there is just no way. are you really sure?!!!!" she just chuckles and says "i know you're on the pill, so your eggs are just powerful, you're fertile myrtle." i burst into tears. i honestly have never been so shocked in my life. she hugs me & reassures me that everything is going to be ok, she had a feeling i would cry & how this is such a great blessing. all i can get out of my mouth is " i just had a baby" she just laughed. after about 5 minutes of me trying to get it together in the midst of my cry fest, i try to explain to her that this is certainly not bad news, just very very shocking. i tell her that i took my pill just like she said to, i think i said to her "how did this happen?!!" she said "do you really need me to explain that part?!" i say "no i just really don't understand. you're not supposed to get pregnant when you're on birth control" she said "well to be honest, this doesn't happen very often, most women don't get pregnant on birth control. you are just the special one" ( i was on the birth control that i was allowed to take b/c i was nursing jack) my nurse walked in & i said to her " you knew this both times when you came in here & didn't tell me?!!!" she said "well i wanted dr williams to tell you in case you cried!" i'm thinking "umm, a little heads up that my life is changing, again, forever would have been nice!!!" but i know it wasn't really her place to spill the beans. i'm just going crazy!! dr williams then proceeds with my invasive & oh so fun exam. then i'm sent off to a quick ultrasound that couldn't tell me anything b/c i wasn't far enough along. an appointment is scheduled for 2 weeks later & i'm out the door.

i get in the car & just cry out to the Lord. i said so much to Him. i cried a little, laughed a little & honestly just poured my heart out to Him. i remember telling Him that i trusted Him & i knew He would provide for us, but i gently reminded Him (although He didn't need it) that i just had a baby!! i cried b/c i didn't want to loose any time with Jack & i worried that i would be missing out on precious time with him b/c i would be caring for a new little one. i know that's all silly, but it was just raw emotion. i told the Lord that we can't afford this baby, we don't have a lot of room for this baby & once again, that i just had a baby!!! its seriously all i could come back to! the experience leading up to Jack's birth was still so fresh in my mind & that brought a lot of fear. i kept thinking that i didn't want to go through all of that again, it was hard & very painful. the actual c-section wasn't even the hardest part. but the memories of the unknown, countless needle pokes & the fear that comes with caring for such a tiny baby were haunting my mind.

i was so scared to tell ben & our families. i must admit, i was scared of what people would think & say to us. i could just hear all the comments about how close in age they would be and how it would be so much work & how we should've waited & just enjoyed our time with Jack. or about how it was really gonna put more strain on our budget. in the middle of my negative nancy attitude my phone rings. its the hubs. i quickly pull myself together b/c i knew he could instantly pick up the trembling in my voice & i want to tell him in person that we are having another baby. our conversation goes something like this b (ben) says " hey babe, how did the appt go?" me " um, it went fine, just the typical doctor's visit. i had to wait forever today b/c she was running late" b "yeah, that's why i called you twice i was wondering what was going on. so did she put you on a new birth control?" (this is part of the reason i went to the doctor) me "um, no" then b says "well why not, isn't that the reason you went?" i say " well b/c i'm pregnant" he says " what? no you aren't, quit joking around" i said "babe, i would never joke about this, i'm really pregnant" then my voice begins to get shakey & i tell him the story. he just falls out laughing. he keeps telling me how wonderful it is & how he is so excited & how we are going to have so much fun. he said "babe, the Lord wanted us to have this baby, you were on the pill & still got pregnant, its all going to be ok" he was really so sweet about it & genuinely excited. i voiced to him all of my concerns about money, time with jack, space in our house, our cars that need a lot of work & need to be sold & the main thing: WE JUST HAD A BABY!!! but he just laughingly dismissed my worries & reassured me that it would all be fine. my hubbys never worries about anything. he's a rock. we talk for a few more minutes & get off the phone b/c i'm only minutes from the house.

when i get to his parents house, i walk in the kitchen with a blank look on my face. i could tell that my family knew something was up. i was so quiet & wide eyed. ben & i talked for a few minutes and he returned to the tournament. later that day we tell his family. they are shocked but very excited & so encouraging. the next night we tell my family. my sisters & mom scream with joy & everyone else is stunned! but they were all so sweet & reassuring about everything.

for the next 3 days, i am in a complete state of shock. i cried a lot, laughed a lot & did a ton of praying. i had multiple conversations with the Lord. after the 3 days, i had such an overwhelming peace in my heart about this situation. now please understand something: i realize that i am beyond blessed to be able to get pregnant so easily. i know there are women out there begging God to give them a child. i know they struggle & hurt for years only to suffer countless disappointments. and i know, 100% that a baby is nothing but a blessing. i have a close friend who has had struggles with infertility for 2 years & it absolutely breaks my heart. i have mourned for her & asked the Lord 100's of times to bless her with a child. and in my heart, i really believe He will, in His perfect timing. BUT i was just shocked. we weren't planning it & it was all of a sudden just so overwhelming. please know that there was never a time during all of this that i regretted this baby or wished i wasn't pregnant. i was never mad that i was going to have another child. just shocked. we had planned Jack (the best we could) & we just figured that's what we would do with the next one. i just couldn't believe that the Lord gave us another one so suddenly!! i love this baby, so much, already. i am so excited about having a newborn & watching Jack interact with his sibling. i know they will be so close growing up & we are going to have a lot of fun. Ben & I have already picked out names & we are counting down until that day in September when we find out the sex of the baby. so please don't read this with a judgemental attitude about me. my reaction was just honest & real. i'm allowed to feel those emotions without dismissing my baby.

i am praising the Lord every day for this child. i know he/she must be something super special b/c the Lord decided to surprise us with this pregnancy. i'm excited about the doctor's appointments, feeling the baby wiggle, finding out the sex, giving our child a name, and giving birth to this beautiful little creature. all of the morning sickness, back aches, sleepless nights, countless times i will have to pee & swollen ankles are completely worth it. i am beyond blessed & so grateful to Jesus. being jack's mommy has been my favorite thing in the world. (besides being married to my stud muffin hubby!) so i can only imagine how great it will be to be a mommy to 2 little kids. it will be glorious & exhausting!! the Lord is in control & His way is always best. i'm a little worried about the possibility of dealing with pre-eclampsia again but i'm not gonna dwell on that. if it happens, it happens. i trust the Lord with mine & this baby's health. but this pregnancy has already been different than Jack's so there is a chance that i'll remain completely healthy. which is what we're praying for.

so b is for baby. the baby i just had. and our sweet & tiny baby growing inside me. due February 15, 2010. PRAISE THE LORD. He is always good. always faithful. always more capable than me. we are so excited about meeting, loving & caring for another baby. it will be amazing. i pray i never take for granted the gift of pregnancy, a baby & being a mom. it is my greatest joy.

" the thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly" John 10: 10