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Saturday, January 23, 2010

48 hours

thats how close i am to meeting my sweet girl. i can not believe that i am about to be a mommy of 2 precious little kids. its a bit overwhelming to think about 2 little lives being so dependent on me, 24 hours a day. but i'm also so excited about it. i absolutely love my son. i love everything about being his mom. i don't even mind the feeling of exhaustion. it makes me feel good, in a weird way, b/c i know that i've spent all of my energy taking care of him. i love pouring out myself day in & day out for the sake of another person. before i became a mom, i worried about being so sacrificial. i would question my capability to lay down my wants & needs for the sake of another person, ALL the time. but i wouldn't trade it for the world. i wouldn't go back to life before Jack for anything in this world. i have only grown from being his mommy.

today, i have been thinking about all the excitement that came with having Jack. the first time i saw him, nursed him, held him & showed him off to friends was so wonderful. i'm so excited to go through all of that again on monday & the rest of this coming week. what a blessing it is to have a baby. i highly recommend it. i can't wait to see Jovie, to smell her sweet newborn smell, to touch her tiny hands & feet and to love on her little body. she will be precious. the Lord is SO good to let us experience the joy of a new baby. there is just nothing like it. i'm getting so very excited!!!!

today has been a normal hospital day. blood work, ultrasound (which went great), fetal monitoring, blood pressure checks and a visit from my sweet little man. my heart just skips a beat when he comes through the door. we had so much fun with him today & i was so sad when he left. i'm trying to tell myself that i'm almost there. almost home with him. it is truly the hardest part of this. and it hasn't gotten easier. in some ways, its gotten harder. but i'm hanging in there. i'm trying. thank goodness i only have one more full day of sitting here. Monday is the big day and it will go by quickly. so Sunday is the last day of waiting. i'm so glad i get to see Jack tomorrow. i can't wait.

as far as we know, the surgery will stay at 6 pm. i'm a little bummed, but it'll be ok. we'll have the day to visit with family, see Jack & get ready for surgery. odds are, we won't see anyone after she is born Monday night. it will just be too late and we will be so tired. but in a way, its kind of nice. we will have all night with her & i'll be on the magnesium overnight & hopefully completely off of it before we see anyone the next day. i'm still praying that it only lasts for 12 hours. PLEASE Lord Jesus, spare me the extra 12 hours of magnesium. it is miserable.

my mind has gone back to us being robbed. it is incredibly frustrating. but there is just nothing we can do about it, other than pray. pray that the people responsible get busted! pray that the Lord restores our peace of mind & pray that it never happens again. other than that, i'm trying to concentrate on the joy of the next few days. i am growing a little nervous of the IV i'm about to receive & the surgery. please pray that the Lord will calm my nerves.

thank you so much for your encouraging words & prayers during our difficult week. it has made a world of difference for us. we love you & appreciate you so much.

prayer requests for today:

* Jovie's health & delivery
* Jack. he has become really congested & i could tell today that he wasn't feeling great. it hurts my heart to not take care of him when he is not feeling well. please pray that he feels better soon. and that i don't allow myself to be eaten with guilt as i'm away from him right now.
* Ben. he is showing incredible strength. he is precious & i'm so thankful for such a wonderful husband.
* my health & emotions. i am so weary but so ready for Jovie Claire.
* our parents as they care for Jack
* that i'll only be on the Magnesium for 12 hours
* that the Lord will begin to bring us peace as we deal with the feeling of our home being invaded.


1 comment:

Jennie said...

Less than 24 hours now! Praying for you, Ben, Jack, & Jovie! The Lord bless you! ~Jennie